From the recording Through The Shadows The Musical
Lyrics
The clock ticks louder than it should
Yet they say a slap is good
But they don’t see the fear
That carries on year by year
I try to act like I’m fine
Like they broke me into design
How to act when the room grows loud
And I’m here falling to the ground
All around me I was told be quiet
Learned to build these walls learned how to lie in
So please don’t let them see the real me
This home shows me all of reality
If I stay small I won’t be seen
I’ll disappear in between
All they say is “this is reality”
So I fold myself quietly
If I get too loud in the halls
And the rooms start closing their walls
Then I make myself smaller still
So I won’t feel what they will
Dinner plates and practiced smiles
I’ve learned these acts like a trial
Don’t let them see the scars
So I smile and fade into the dark
In this room I can be myself
Where no pain is ever felt
But if a glass shatters
Then the pain comes after
I cover my ears ignore the yells
The breaking walls feel like a personal hell
I see the fire I see the fear
And all that falls is a tear
If I stay small I won’t be blamed
I won’t be called out by name
All they say is “this is reality”
So I vanish quietly
I hear the voices I hear the shouts
Yet here I stand with chains I’m bound
If I stay small I might survive
But I don’t feel much like I’m alive
All they say is “this is reality”
But disappearing shouldn’t be safety
So I’ll close the door
See the glass on the floor
Some say this will keep you safe
But all I feel is afraid
