Lyrics

First the pills I begged for sleep to swallow me
But woke up choking wired denied the dark in me
Second the blade I carved until I bled
But fear betrayed me that thin thread never dead
Third the bridge their hands pulled me below
Their words meant nothing I was who I couldn’t let go
Fourth the rope it held then snapped in hell
The crack of wood the drop I lived the fall as well

I never wanted to let go but the pain’s too deep
I just want to rest my head in endless sleep
Sirens cry somewhere in the distance
But up here all I hear is silence

Four ways I tried to leave this place
To fall to disappear without a trace
So I can’t hear all the words
Escape the hits escape the burns
I never wanted to end it all
So don’t say you heard me you missed my call
So let me go I can’t handle the pain
Here I am finally cracking the chain

Fifth I starved they fed me like a caged thing
Kept alive by hands that didn’t feel like anything
Sixth the fall still I drew a breath
Woke again unwilling stolen back from death
Seventh the blade again till darkness won
Passed out woke in white alone when it was done
Eighth the pills they wouldn’t stay
My body fought me forced another day

So turn away like you always do
My world is gray while yours is blue

Eight ways I tried to leave this place
To fall to vanish without a trace
So I can’t hear all the words
Escape the hits escape the burns

They say I’m lucky to be alive
Lucky just because I survived
But they never understood why
The real reason I wanted to die

The slaps The pain
This cage around me every chain

Now this is the ninth way I try to leave this place
To fall to disappear without a trace
So I can’t hear all the words
Escape the hits escape the burns
I never wanted to end it all
So don’t say you heard me you missed my call
So let me go I can’t handle the pain
Here I am still cracking the chain

Ninth the fall right now
All I see is the ground